This was something that hit me like a ton of bricks last night as I was sitting in class. The idea of who am I doing these things for pricked my heart. I'm in a busy season in life with school, work, and ministry and things have been kind of feeling like it's just one big routine. When you have a routine for sometime you can start getting tired and start wanting something different, something new. Feeling that way isn't what I would call a bad thing but it's something that can really derail what you are involved in. By wanting something new or different might cause you to lose focus on what God has you doing right now. I know that as I started wondering about what's next in my life I could notice that my hunger and desire for the things I was involved in were slowly fading. Because of that I wasn't giving my all in these areas. What I was reminded of last night was who am I doing these things for? Am I going to school for my personal gain, am I involved in ministry because it looks good? As we started talking about Jesus in class and how He went to the cross for us, not because He wanted to, (remember what He prayed for in the garden) but because that was the will of the Father. Jesus did everything that the Father asked of Him. His sole purpose in life was to be obedient to the Father no matter what the cost. Jesus understood who He was doing these things for.
As I was driving home I was so convicted and had a long talk with God. I realized that I was doing things for God and myself. Once again it's not always bad to do things for yourself but I don't want to do anything except what God wants from me. I understand that I go to school to further my education and hopefully my degrees will help with a career but I don't want that to be my main foucs. I want to always remind myself that with this education I can be used more effectively by God and hopefully do my best to advance His Kingdom. I don't want school to be the only thing, I want to live my whole life for God. Everything I do I want to do it for the Lord. As I started to ask God for forgiveness and to help me to live my life solely for Him, I could just feel that fire being stired up again and all that excitement that comes with knowing God is allowing me to partner with Him to advance His Kingdom.
I don't know if anyone feels like I do, whether it's feeling like you're stuck in a routine or maybe you haven't been doing things for God like you know you should be but my prayer for us today is that God would change our hearts desires. I pray that He would give us the hearts to serve and the desire to make our lives living sacrifices to Him. I pray for faith and strength for us to let God be God.
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